How can we foster resilience in ourselves and our children to help them navigate and stand strong against bullying in schools? In 2014,the federal government released its first official definition of bullying. According to the CDC, bullying can take four main forms: physical, verbal, relational/social, and damage to personal property.[1]
Supporting your little one’s early childhood development during instances of bullying can help build a healthy foundation for long-term resilience and healthy relationships.
Growing up in the 80s and 90s I heard about bullying but only witnessed it one time. My friend and I were at the back of the line, waiting for our teacher to lead us to music class, when a classmate suddenly blocked the doorway. He then proceeded to grab and push my friend all around the room. Not sure what to do, I told the bully to stop and called for help. Looking back, the word that describes how I felt is overwhelmed. Even though I wasn’t the one being bullied, the intensity of the moment had a ripple effect on me.
Today, schools create campaigns with slogans and policies to address the daily occurrences of bullying happening on campus. It’s hard to believe that research and statistics about bullying have only become widely available over the last decade. Although, bullying has existed for generations, it is the occurrence of bullying and the escalation of the events in schools that have national attention. As adults and parents, how do we help others manage bullying?
Next Steps
While it’s important to stay solution focused, the reality is that bullying is not only a serious struggle for many students, but it is escalating daily in schools.. It’s easy to dismiss bullying as someone else’s problem or assume it doesn’t happen at our child’s school. The first step is acknowledging that it does, and then working together to identify ways to support our children and students.
When I found myself in the situation trying to protect my friend from a bully, I was forced to deal with it on the spot. If someone had talked me through some solutions to consider ahead of time, I may have handled the situation better. Here are some tips to share with your children or students as they face complicated bullying situations at school.
- Stay in groups. It’s harder to pick on someone that is in a group.
- Encourage children and students to stay where you can see them. Bullies are less likely to bully someone in full view of staff or adults.
- Report instances and write statements. Encourage your child to not be afraid to stick up for themself and report the bullying. They may also need to document incidents with staff.
- Engage staff. Students and parents should not be afraid to ask for help. Staff are there to help.
- Ignore it when possible. Teaching our students and children that often bullies want to get a response from others. They poke and prod to get a response and sometimes the best response is none.
- Encourage your child to defend themselves when necessary and escape if they feel they are in danger. My friend and I were caught in a vulnerable position and sometimes you must protect yourself.
- Encourage student and children to tell parents what is going on. Many children don’t tell family what is happening to them, and adults are there to help.
- Make great friends. Friendships provide a supportive community and help make school a better place to be..
- Limit time of social media. Delays or limits to social media help with the intensity and type of bullying a student may face.
- Use parental controls to set online boundaries. Whether its social media or the internet, parental controls help children and students stay out of potentially complicated and compromising online situations.
No child should face bullying alone, and no parent should feel helpless. Lone Star Circle of Care offers compassionate behavioral health support for families navigating these challenges. Schedule an appointment with one of our trusted behavioral health providers. Call 877.800.5722.
Blog post written by Jered Benedick, LCSW
Lone Star Circle of Care at Harker Heights
- [1] Gladden RM, Vivolo-Kantor AM, Hamburger ME, Lumpkin CD. Bullying surveillance among youths: Uniform definitions for public health and recommended data elements, Version 1.0. Atlanta, GA; National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and U.S. Department of Education; 2013.
